Abridged Kirby: Episode 8
by JadeDragonKnight
Summary: Curio makes a discovery that throws everyone for a loop.  Pretty soon, dead things come to life, people become animals, and morals completely vanish!... For a short time anyway.
1. Part 1

Abridged Kirby: Episode 8

By: JadeDragonKnight

Part 1

It's a bright day in Dream Land, and a special one at that. Today the castle is decorated with streamers and other elaborate ornaments. The Waddle Dee stood in formation on the edge of a wall. They took out their trumpets and blew a royal tune. Fumu, Bun, their parents, the knights, and Escargon stood in two lines on a balcony. Escargon took out a wireless mike and cleared his throat.

"Thus we celebrate the three hundredth year yadda, yadda, yadda, the seventeenth thousandth, yadda, yadda, yadda, the Great King Dedede, hooray everyone."

The trumpets sounded again. Out from the shadows of the archway came King Dedede, dressed in metals and capped with a spiked, golden crown. He proudly walked out with his eyes closed, and took the mike from Escargon.

"You poor commoners have gathered here to worship me. Let the worshipping begin-"

He stopped short when he opened his eyes and found the courtyard completely empty.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dedede shouted, anger boiling his blood.

"I think the meaning is obvious since no one's here." Meta Knight suggested.

Dedede brought his fist down on the snail's head.

"Ow, why hit me? He's the one that said it."

"Why is no one here?" the king yelled as he glared down at his attendant.

"I-I'm not sure, but it was advertised."

"Hehe, he thinks he's really a king," Parm chuckled.

"What?"

"There were no kings," Bun added.

"There was a Cappy Tribe long ago," Fumu stated.

"That's why no one has to pay attention to you," Meta Knight informed.

The king turned to the knight with an evil scowl.

"Anything else you'd like to say?" the king asked between gritted teeth.

"Yeah, Lololo and Lalala took off with your crown."

Dedede raised an eyebrow, waved a hand over his head, then spun around and watched the two fairies carrying his crown away.

"We'll sell this thing on E-bay and make some bucks," Lololo said.

"Cha-ching baby," Lalala replied.

Dedede growled in fury.

"I AM THE KING OF DREAM LAND!"

A nearby bird yawned as it flew by.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, Fumu, Bun, and Kirby were helping Curio at the excavation site. Actually, let me rephrase that. Fumu was helping Curio while Bun and Kirby were running around like crazed chickens.<p>

"Are we really going to learn more about our past here?" Fumu asked.

"Sure, as long as you find an artifact, like this one!" Curio replied.

"It's a pointy rock."

"No, this is a primitive tool used by the ancient Cappy Tribes."

"Oh my gosh! I'm gonna be like a total history geek and take a picture of it!" Fumu said with glee while she got her camera.

She began to back away to get Curio in focus.

"Ok, say GWAH!" Fumu yelped as she fell into a hole.

"GWAH!" Curio shouted.

Fumu looked up to see Kirby and Bun laughing at her.

"I swear," she called as she crawled out from the hole, "When I get my hands on you I'll-"

"Hey look!" Curio shouted.

The kids gathered around the hole Fumu stumbled in. A sharp gray rock was jutting out of the ground. In fact, it looked more like a box corner.

"Quick, help me dig," Fumu said as she jumped in and plowed the dirt away.

"Yeah, we'll get right on that," Bun replied, leaning against his pick axe.

In no time the girl finished and a stone coffin was revealed.

"This is evidence of the Cappy civilization," Fumu informed.

"And we care, why?" Bun asked.

Fumu took a few pictures and smiled.

"I'll go tell everyone," she said as she ran off.

Bun and Kirby followed her, leaving Curio to get the tomb out of the ground. Later the other villagers arrived.

"So this is one of our ancestors?" one asked.

"Yup," Fumu informed, "this is proof that Dedede's linage never existed."

Curio tapped his hands together in nervousness.

"Hey!"

Everyone looked to see Dedede and Escargon roll up in their tank.

"You don't come to my ceremony, but you gather around a coffin? What's wrong with you people?" Dedede asked.

"This is a coffin of an ancient Cappy," Fumu argued.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just see who this dead guy is," the king replied as he walked up with his mallet.

He knocked the cover off and everyone gathered closer. Then, they gasped. A skeleton with a hammer and crown sat inside. The skeleton looked like Dedede.

"What does this mean?" Fumu gasped in horror.

"It means _my _ancestors ruled here," Dedede gloated, "Dig up any other remains of my linage!"

At that second, the villagers got on their hands and knees, digging away at the ground.

"Curio, this can't be right, the cappys lived here not kings," Fumu said.

"Well, um, this discovery proves me wrong…"

"That's right," Dedede laughed.

The kids frowned in disappointment.

"Hey, I found a mask!" Kawasaki shouted.

"I found a stone portrait!"

"I found a…uh… pacifier?"

"It's so marvelous!" Escargon said with gleaming eyes.

Dedede was dancing with the skeleton.

"You can keep the stuff you find, my treat!" the king announced.

The villagers happily ran back home with their treasure. Curio sighed and went home. Like the little stalkers they are, the kids followed him.


	2. Part 2

Abridged Kirby: Episode 8

By: JadeDragonKnight

Part 2

"Don't be so upset," Fumu said.

Curio looked up from his wiping of a vase. His eyes had a sad look, as if he was about to cry.

"That discovery may have proved you wrong, but this was not a failure! If anything it's a step forward!"

"Anything added to that king's ego is a setback."

"True, but it got everyone interested in archeology! Isn't that what you wanted?"

Curio placed the vase on a shelf.

"You're right Fumu. I'll keep searching for any remains."

The kids cheered.

"Here, take this," Curio said, handing Fumu an arrow head.

They looked at it with curiosity.

"You should head home now."

They continued to stare at the chipped rock.

"Seriously, get out of my house!"

* * *

><p>Back at the castle, Fumu's family was eating dinner. They looked at her sitting on the couch.<p>

"How long are you going to stare at that thing?" Bun asked.

"You're food's getting cold," Memu informed.

"Yeah…" she replied.

"Curio said the artifacts discovered today prove that his majesty has a linage, right?" Parm asked.

"Yeah…"

"So it's not a problem?" Memu asked.

"Yeah…"

"Do you smell like monkey butt?" Bun snickered.

"Yeah…"

She got off the couch and left. After she left, Kirby hopped onto her chair, knife and fork in hand.

"You're going to eat instead?" Memu asked.

"Piyo," Kirby nodded.

* * *

><p>Outside in the night, Fumu ran through the village. She stopped and raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Why the heck did I come out here?" she asked herself.

Just then, she heard a noise. It was that kind of noise that you would naturally want to check out, so she did just that. Fumu saw that it was Curio pulling a huge cart.

"How can that old man pull that thing?"

She followed like a creeper, hiding in the shadows and not making a sound. Curio eventually made it to the excavation site and went into one of the caves. Fumu went in and looked around.

"I don't remember this being here. The villagers dug this out today?"

Just then, a hand wrapped over her mouth and she was yanked into a corner. She fought against the tight grip, muffling bloody murder.

"Calm down, it's just me."

Fumu unlocked the grip and whirled around.

"Meta Knight, what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" he whispered.

"I want to see what Curio is up to. Why are you here?"

"I was just taking a leisurely stroll and happened to see Curio pulling that cart, which I've never seen before."

"Really?" Fumu asked, narrowing her gaze.

The knight nodded. Fumu continued to stare coldly at him. He swallowed hard.

"Well, uh, I was instructed to take a walk."

"By who?"

"S-someone."

"Tell me who it was."

Meta Knight began to sweat under his mask as the girl crossed her arms and waited.

"You're staring into my soul, it's very uncomfortable."

"I'll stop when you tell me the truth."

Just then, the sound of shifting dirt caught their attention. They peeked around the corner to see Curio digging a hole in the ground. He looked around nervously. Finding no one, he lifted the cart up, revealing a large stone tablet in the shape of Dedede. Fumu gasped then took pictures of Curio putting the stone in the ground. She then raised an eyebrow. She didn't hear Meta Knight gasp at the shocking discovery. She glared at him, making him tense up.

"Must, resist, the glare," Meta Knight groaned under his breath.

He then turned his head away and whacked it on the wall in the process. Curio shot up and looked around wildly. Fumu slapped her hand over the knight's mouth and grabbed the back of his head with her other hand. The old man took up the cart and tools then quickly made his way out of the cave. They watched him leave until he was out of earshot.

"You do know you're not covering my mouth, right?" Meta Knight asked.

Fumu let him go then crossed her arms.

"Alright, what do you know?" Fumu whispered firmly.

"Well, I know how to swordfight, a little karate, how to play poker-"

"Don't change the subject! Why is Curio burying fake artifacts, and why are you here?"

"I can't tell you, I have speech impairment."

"No you don't-"

"Noudfnsffakacuhdn," he slurred as he power walked away from her.

She growled softly and trailed after him.

"I know you're hiding something, so spill it!"

"I assure you I have nothing to spill."

They walked out of the cave and into the night.

"What kind of knight lies over and over again?"

"The kind that has his job at sake."

He stopped dead and slapped his hands over his mouth.

"Your job's at sake? Dedede sent you, didn't he?"

Meta Knight quickly shook his head.

"He wanted you to spy on Curio, but why?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me!"

"NEVER!"

"Who's there?"

They froze as they saw Curio turn around and raise his lantern. When the light touched them, Fumu was on her hands and knees while Meta Knight was perched on a rock with his arms in the shape of wings.

"Bahahaha."

"Caw, caw."

Curio tilted his head.

Then, he rubbed his eyes and muttered, "All this stress must be getting to me."

He turned and went back into the darkness. Fumu and Meta Knight relaxed.

"That was close," the knight sighed.

"You're not out of the heat yet," Fumu stated.

She glared at him again. He groaned loudly.

"Okay! There's going to be an announcement tomorrow about Curio's latest find."

"What are you talking about-"

Before she could finish, Meta Knight bolted down the road and disappeared, leaving a cloud of dust behind. She sighed in disappointment then went home.


	3. Part 3

Abridged Kirby: Episode 8

By: JadeDragonKnight

Part 3

The next morning, all of the villagers stopped what they were doing and gathered inside the cave at the excavation site. They all talked to each other in hushed voices.

"Excuse me," Fumu said repeatedly as she pushed through the crowd.

"Hey sis!"

Bun ran up to her once she broke free.

"We found more old stuff, and one of them is huge! Come look."

He guided her to a stone tablet three times her size. Curio was standing in front of it. Fumu hung her head in disapproval. Then, she grabbed Curio's arm.

"Just a moment," she stated as she dragged him off to the side.

Bun and Kirby followed to make sure she wasn't going to harm him.

"What's wrong Fumu?" Curio asked.

She took out some photos and handed them to him. He gasped and dropped one of them. Bun picked it up and examined it. It showed Curio with the stone tablet shaped like Dedede.

"Curio buried that rock here last night," Fumu informed.

"That's it! We're telling!" Bun added.

They went towards the crowd, but were stopped by a familiar snail.

"Looks like you loud mouths know too much," he sneered.

"Escargon?" they asked as they backed away.

Dedede came up from behind. They cornered the kids and in no time they gagged and bond them to a stone.

"Time to confirm your new theory, Professor Curio," Escargon stated.

"Make a magnificent speech," Dedede laughed.

He clutched the photos in his fist. Later, the villagers gathered around a stage with the stone sitting in the center. King Dedede, Curio, Parm, and Memu sat in chairs at the other side of the stage while Escargon stood in front of the mike.

"Today we will know the truth of the history of Dream Land. Curio will now give his speech."

They clapped as he sadly made his way to the mike. He cleared his throat as sweat began to bead on his forehead.

"As you all know, I have been digging and researching at this site for years," he began. "These recent findings have led to a new prediction that…"

* * *

><p>The kids continued to struggle against their bonds. Just then, Meta Knight walked up to them. He took off the cloths tied around their mouths.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Fumu asked.

"I can't leave you guys here all tied up," the knight replied.

"Aren't you on Dedede's side?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he added as he went behind the stone and cut the ropes.

"Don't pretend you don't know what happened last night."

"I was in a food coma."

Bun and Kirby looked at each other questionably.

"Really?" Bun asked.

"Actually I was dreaming I was in a food coma."

Fumu glared at him.

"Don't look at me like that! That part's true!"

"Fine, you can confess later, but right now we have to stop Curio," Fumu said.

They nodded and raced to the crowd.

* * *

><p>During Curio's pause, memories of Fumu talking to him about what he was doing flashed through his mind.<p>

"That all the artifacts are of valuable… valuable… ah screw this! It was all a lie!"

"What?" Dedede and Escargon gawked.

"These findings are fakes! I was blackmailed and I'm sorry! His majesty is a fat jerk!"

Dedede's mouth hung wide open.

"That's right, I went there! That felt good!"

"Why you!" the angry king shouted.

"Alright Curio!"

They all looked up to see the kids standing on top of a ledge.

"How'd you get free?" Escargon yelled.

Meta Knight walked out next to them, holding the ropes.

"You have to admit, tying up children isn't the most honorable thing to do," the knight stated.

"You're one to talk, you liar," Fumu muttered.

"Hey, I helped you out."

The villagers began to shout cries of disapproval at the king. He growled in fury.

"Fine, have it your way! Go, Dedede Stone!"

At his command, the stone grew to enormous proportions and went through the ceiling. Everyone ran outside before the cave collapsed. The kids watched in horror as the stone came to life and formed into a giant Dedede. The king himself and Escargon were riding on top.

"Go get them!" the king ordered.

The stone walked forward, making the ground shake with every step.

"Where's Curio?" Fumu asked.

Kirby pointed to the archeologist hiding behind a rock with a pick axe. When the demon took another step, he rushed out and went to strike it, but choked on the dust cloud.

"I'm too old for this," he coughed.

The kids ran out, without thinking, to rescue him. Fumu tripped when the demon pounded against the dirt. She looked up to see a large stone foot above her.

"Hehe, you go first," the king sneered.

Bun, Kirby, and Curio shielded their eyes when the foot came down. Fumu didn't feel anything so she looked up. Meta Knight was standing under her, holding his sword up with one hand against the rock.

"Fumu, run!"

"How are you holding that up with one arm?" Fumu asked.

"…I don't know."

"It looks painful."

"Yeah, it isn't very smart- ack, would you just get away from the foot!"

"Right-"

"THE FOOT OF CRUSHING!"

"OKAY!"

She ran away, leaving the knight under the rock.

"He's getting in the way again!" the king growled.

"Let's crush him!" Escargon shouted.

The demon pushed harder.

"Oh crap," Meta Knight said between gritted teeth, his arm shaking.

"Kirby, what are you doing!" Bun shouted, "Inhale it!"

The pink ball jumped forward and began to suck in air. The demon didn't budge. The king and attendant laughed at his failed attempt.

"Kirby, it's not working, try something else," Meta Knight informed quickly, his strength fading.

Just then, Curio jumped out of his hiding place and hit the other foot. Kirby absorbed the chipped stone. He jumped in the air and transformed into Stone Kirby. His skin turned brown and a blue hat with a red tail formed on his head. The kids cheered. Kirby jumped off the wall and rammed into the demon. It fell over backwards, losing its royal passengers. Meta Knight withdrew his sword and hung his arm in pain. Kirby cheered as the statue fell to the ground.

"Way to go Kirby!" the kids shouted.

Just then, the demon grabbed him. It stood up and squeezed him between its rock hands.

"Good, crush him like that!" Dedede called.

"This isn't good," Fumu said. "Come Warp Star!"


	4. Part 4

Abridged Kirby: Episode 8

By: JadeDragonKnight

Part 4

At Kabu's valley, Kabu was humming to itself. Then, it began coughing. The star popped out of his mouth and flew away.

"Hack, God damn Warp Star!"

* * *

><p>The stone Dedede began chasing the villagers. Just then, the star came over the horizon. Kirby broke free of the monster's grip and jumped on it. The beast swatted at him to no avail. He flew up high and hovered above the demon.<p>

"Stone Kirby!" he shouted as he morphed into a huge stone figure.

The star moved out of the way and he came down on the beast's head. He was so heavy he tunneled through all the way out the butt. The statue crumbled into large gray bricks.

"Yay, he did it!" Fumu and Bun cheered.

"Let's get out of here," Curio said, pushing the two out of the way of the falling stones.

"Kirby beat us again," Dedede moaned.

"Uh, we should go too," Escargon said.

It was too late. The king and his attendant were soon buried alive in the demon's aftermath. Kirby jumped on top and cheered with glee.

"Wow, they're buried under a mountain," Bun informed.

"Shouldn't you excavate them?" Fumu asked.

"No, I'm tired of digging up fakes," Curio replied.

"Oh snap," Bun said.

"I'll only unearth the true history from now on."

"Awesome," Fumu stated.

"Kirby, let's go home now!" Bun shouted.

Kirby sucked in some air and floated up to them. Meanwhile, Meta Knight stood at the opposite ridge.

"That was impressive," he said to himself, "you just keep getting stronger, Kirby."

"META KNIGHT, ARE YOU UP THERE?"

He tensed up when the king's angry voice reached his ears.

"YOU BETTER DIG US OUT RIGHT NOW! ARE YOU LISTENING? META KNIGHT!"

The knight quietly inched away from the edge. Then, he bolted in the other direction.

"Dammit," Dedede groaned, "We'll become skeletons at this rate. KIRBY! Get us out and I'll give you all the candy you can eat!"

Kirby instantly descended on the mountain. A star closed in on him and faded to black.

"Wait! Do they get eaten?"

No Meta Knight, you're not getting away with leaving them in there, or lying repeatedly to Fumu.

"Curse you karma…"

THE END


End file.
